06-02-2026, 08:53 PM
Hello Heaven's Night,
To answer your question, I don't think I'm being naive. Does it mean it's my good nature then? Surely it doesn't have to be either/or? I'll try to elaborate further:
I enjoy being on BN. Maybe that in of itself is a bias compared to when I'm scrolling through the mainstream social media sites? I've found the community here to be very supportive of me before I transitioned and since. I've made two very close friendships (whom I talk to almost daily) through BN. The same can't be said for other sites I post in.
I don't read every post on BN, and there have been periods of time I've not visited BN. For all I know there could be an "underworld" of bigotry on BN I'm simply not familiar with. Or maybe on the other hand, it could be I strive to give people (particularly newcomers) the benefit of a doubt (especially on a forum I've been on for 13+ years). I would agree IRL there are a lot of transphobes, otherwise the political climate (especially the USA) would be very different then it currently is. I see BN being different as it's a very niche community. It's hard for me to recognize how a dyed-in-the-wool transphobic man would also be on a site asking about how to grow his own breasts? Could you imagine the backlash this guy would face if his (transphobic) family/friends found out?
If someone is posting in good faith, I try to give them a benefit of a doubt. For all I know, the person might have had zero real-life interactions with a trans person and is practically clueless about offensive terminology for trans people. I think the difference between a troll/bigot and someone who is not, is the latter is open-minded enough to amend their ways and try not to hurt others (again). Trolls/bigots on the other hand, double-down and will never apologize or change.
With all of that said, I think the best defense against the trolls/bigots on this site is to report and block them. There's a very common saying of "don't feed the trolls." I think in our case, this would translate to "don't give them the satisfaction of knowing they have incensed us by their bigotry." In other words, good moderation would quickly deal with the offensive posting. If there are issues with the timeliness/effectiveness of moderation on the forum, I think that's another issue that needs to be addressed.
I feel like this needs to be said, but I'm not trying to excuse bad behavior here. If someone doesn't want to play by the rules, by all means they should be warned/kicked/banned or whatever. I think it should be noted that last I checked, transphobia wasn't explicitly mentioned in the terms of service. Perhaps it's time to incorporate in the rules that transphobia doesn't have a place here?
To answer your question, I don't think I'm being naive. Does it mean it's my good nature then? Surely it doesn't have to be either/or? I'll try to elaborate further:
I enjoy being on BN. Maybe that in of itself is a bias compared to when I'm scrolling through the mainstream social media sites? I've found the community here to be very supportive of me before I transitioned and since. I've made two very close friendships (whom I talk to almost daily) through BN. The same can't be said for other sites I post in.
I don't read every post on BN, and there have been periods of time I've not visited BN. For all I know there could be an "underworld" of bigotry on BN I'm simply not familiar with. Or maybe on the other hand, it could be I strive to give people (particularly newcomers) the benefit of a doubt (especially on a forum I've been on for 13+ years). I would agree IRL there are a lot of transphobes, otherwise the political climate (especially the USA) would be very different then it currently is. I see BN being different as it's a very niche community. It's hard for me to recognize how a dyed-in-the-wool transphobic man would also be on a site asking about how to grow his own breasts? Could you imagine the backlash this guy would face if his (transphobic) family/friends found out?
If someone is posting in good faith, I try to give them a benefit of a doubt. For all I know, the person might have had zero real-life interactions with a trans person and is practically clueless about offensive terminology for trans people. I think the difference between a troll/bigot and someone who is not, is the latter is open-minded enough to amend their ways and try not to hurt others (again). Trolls/bigots on the other hand, double-down and will never apologize or change.
With all of that said, I think the best defense against the trolls/bigots on this site is to report and block them. There's a very common saying of "don't feed the trolls." I think in our case, this would translate to "don't give them the satisfaction of knowing they have incensed us by their bigotry." In other words, good moderation would quickly deal with the offensive posting. If there are issues with the timeliness/effectiveness of moderation on the forum, I think that's another issue that needs to be addressed.
I feel like this needs to be said, but I'm not trying to excuse bad behavior here. If someone doesn't want to play by the rules, by all means they should be warned/kicked/banned or whatever. I think it should be noted that last I checked, transphobia wasn't explicitly mentioned in the terms of service. Perhaps it's time to incorporate in the rules that transphobia doesn't have a place here?