[Sullaria007]

I was on estrogen for about 1.5 years. I’ve now been off it for about a year.

A lot of the physical changes have partially reversed over that time (boobs have shrunk significantly and become slight, negligible, moobs with some shape and larger nipples, genital shrinkage, but otherwise muscle tone and general body shape are within the normal male spectrum again), and mentally I’ve noticed some degree of remasculinization too. But one thing that has mostly stayed with me is the mental shift that happened while I was on E.

When I was on it, I noticed a big change in how I related to people. I became much more emotionally aware, more attuned to relationships and social dynamics, and generally more aware of my own feelings. Conversations with women especially became much easier and more natural. I felt like I understood the emotional layer of interactions in a way I hadn’t before. Even now, people tend to read me as a softer, more sensitive guy who fits comfortably in female social spaces. I actually really like that dynamic and it feels more natural to me than how I used to operate before hormones.

The thing is, I feel like some of those mental shifts are slowly fading the longer I’m off estrogen. I don’t necessarily want to fully transition, but I really liked the way my mind worked when I was on E. Has anyone had experience maintaining those kinds of mental changes after stopping hormones? Is it possible to hold on to that mindset without going back on estrogen full-time? For example, things like microdosing, cycling, or other approaches? Or is it basically inevitable that things drift back toward baseline over time?

[flamesabers]

Hello Sullaria,

I never stopped taking E, so I can't comment on that. However, with PM, I did go on and off it over the years. When I stopped taking PM (perhaps for weeks or even months at a time), the mental benefits did go away. Sometimes this was much more apparent to my friends who knew I was on PM, as opposed to myself. 

Ultimately, I think if you want to retain the benefits of being on E, you have to go back on it. How much E, or how frequent you have to be on E, I do not know. I imagine you would have to self-experiment a bit to find out what dosage/frequency works best for you if you want to go the minimalist route. If you choose to go back on E full-time, I think it's important to say that everyone's journey is different. If you want, you can still be in the category of males staying male. Likewise, if you decide to transition, that's okay as well. For me, when I decided to transition was shortly before I decided to go on HRT. But as I said, everyone's path is different.

[wee2er]

I'd say unfortunately, it is inevitable that you will fully go back to your pre-oestrogen state of mind.

Like you I love the mental shift oestrogen brought on and for me the totally unexpected improved concentration levels, more energy and feeling ten years younger.

I've been on oestrogen for just shy of four years and I've had to come to terms with breast growth, which was always a side show for me, and recently how my body is taking on a more feminised look.

The mental shift and unexpected benefits were the main reasons I decided to stay on oestrogen, and even though my body shape is taking on a more femme-shape, I'll, health permitting, stay on oestrogen indefinitely, continue to present male and have zero desire to transition.

One and a half years is a significant amount of time that you were on Oestrogen. I'd suggest revisiting your reasons for taking it and why you decided to curtail it. Then re-evaluate your long-term goals, is it breats growth, feminisation, femme mental shift, etc. As that should help you decide on the next steps.

Ultimately, to keep the femme mental shift you will need some form of oestrogen, probably a micro dose regime, or how about a topical regime applied to the lower half if breast growth isn't a goal. Personally, I'd stay clear of PM due to the DVT risks, but many take PM without problem, Gel or patches would be good for a micro dose / topical regime.

Good luck with what you decide to do.

[Shirazmn]

@sullaria007 I think that, aside from hormones, you'll have to work a bit on yourself to try and keep what's good. I am not in your head, but I can contribute my experience and hope that it maches enough to give you some ideas.
I have been starting and stopping E several times. One of the things I like about it is that it makes me a lot less snappy. I become less aggressive and more likely to listen to people before I speak. This unfortunately is also true about sex, where I become less passionate and more affectionate, which is not always a good thing and it's the main reason why I stop every once in a while (to keep the wife happy). 
What I have learned is that, when I am off the E, I can try to behave like when I am on it. I kind of "observe myself" when I am on E and them I try to copy my own behaviour when I am not. It's a bit like looking at someone that you admire and try to behave like them. Those very moments when you realise the difference between being on E and off E are the ones that you should remember to build a "meter" to judge your behaviour and work on yourself.

(In the paragraph above I wrote "yourself" and "you", but in geenric terms and mostly speaking about "me")

I am not sure if this maps on you and on your experience.